


i was so angry at you (still am)

by Bellarke_Stitch_Delena



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Mentions of Echo - Freeform, Murphy being Murphy (kinda), emotional angst, emotional talk, locked door, season 6 Spec(Kinda)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 09:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18340820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellarke_Stitch_Delena/pseuds/Bellarke_Stitch_Delena
Summary: “Clarke look we both have done things we regret, and i am truly sorry for what i did to Madi, but do you think that you could stop being angry at me?” Bellamy asked as politely as possible.That's when Clarke finally lifted her head and stared him in the eyes and said point blank, “I'm always angry at you. I don't know how not to be angry at you.





	i was so angry at you (still am)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is. this just popped in my head and i ran with it. i have another fic coming. hopefully its finished before the premiere but i make no promises. anyways hope y'all like this.

They were locked in a room with nowhere else to go. Nowhere, to run nowhere to hide. They couldn't avoid talking forever. But they were damn well going to try. After they tried for the 5th time to unlock the door, they gave up.

Both of them were sitting on the floor looking down at it. Not willing to speak. The silence was killing them, but neither wanted to be the first to break. Eventually it was him. “Clarke look we both have done things we regret, and i am truly sorry for what i did to Madi, but do you think that you could stop being angry at me?” Bellamy asked as politely as possible.

That's when Clarke finally lifted her head and stared him in the eyes and said point blank, “I'm always angry at you. I don't know how not to be angry at you. When we first met, i was angry at you because you were being an asshole, and when i found out why you were being an asshole, i was still angry at you because i didn't want to understand. Then i was angry at you because you were there for me after Finn when you shouldn't have been, then i was angry at you because you had a good plan to sneaking into mount weather and wanted to use it. Then i was angry that you listened to me and went in. Then i was angry at you for trying to take the burden of mount weather with me. Then i was angry at you for coming to rescue me because it put your life in danger. Then i was angry at you for Pike. Then i was angry at you for forgiving me so damn easily after i left,then i was angry at you for the hydro generator, then i was angry at you for... then i was angry at you for putting the flame in Madi's head, and now i'm angry at you for again forgiving me so damn easily when I left you to die in the fighting pit. So I'm sorry Bellamy, but i don't know how to not be angry at you.” Clarke looked winded after that long speech.

Bellamy sat in silence, he was going over everything she said when suddenly, two things clicked for him. Two things that mattered more than anything. “So you’re not angry at me for Madi anymore?” Bellamy hesitantly asked. Clarke gave him a look and shook her head. “I just said that Bellamy. No, not about the Madi thing, i’m mad that you forgave me for the fighting pit, because you shouldn’t have. You should still be mad at me for it.” Clarke says exasperated. She thinks he’s done. “Okay good. Another thing, you started to say you were angry at me for something, then you stopped. Why?” Clarke looks up. “What are you talking about no i didn’t.” Bellamy gives her a look that says yes you did.

“Clarke, you are missing a very big chunk of time being mad at me. I know this because you couldn’t possibly be mad at me for the hydro generator for that long . And you said you were always angry with me. So what was it Clarke, what were you angry about after the hydrogenerator?” Clarke doesn’t answer him right away. Which is what he was expecting. She just sits against the door with her head down. Bellamy knows her well enough to know that she doesn't want to tell him. Which normally he would accept,but for some reason he can’t seem to let this go. “Clarke please, if you tell me what it is i swear i will never speak to you again if that’s what you want.” Clarke’s head shoots up at that. “That is the second to last thing i want. The first being that Madi’s life being in danger, but Bellamy my favourite thing in the whole world is talking to you. Why do you think i radioed you everyday for 6 years?” she asks hesitantly. 

At this, Bellamy literally doesn’t know what to say. This is the first time she’s brought up the radio calls. They’ve talked about it, in the abstract sense that they both know about them, but they’ve never sat down and had a full conversation about them. He stares at her until she finally speaks again. “Look, after the hydro generator, i was angry about the conversation we had on the crossing point with the hydrazine and Roan. Do you remember?” Bellamy just nods. How could he forget. “I was pretty sure i knew what you were going to say, so i stopped you, not because i didn’t want to hear it, but because i couldn’t.” Bellamy knows exactly where she’s going with this. He wants to stop her, but he knows she needs to get this out, so he lets her. “I couldn’t hear you say you loved me, because everyone who has ever loved me like that has died. And i couldn’t handle it if that had happened to you to.” They both have tears in their eyes, but Clarke's not done. “So that's what i was angry about. I was angry at you because you loved me and i was afraid that my curse would activate and you to would…” she doesn’t finish, but she doesn’t need too. 

He knows exactly what she was about to say. It’s his turn to talk. “Clarke, Wells, Finn and Lexa didn’t die because they loved you, Wells died because a little girl was suffering and she didn’t know how to channel her pain. Finn died because he did something incredibly stupid and it wasn’t your fault no matter how much you think otherwise and lexa died because someone else was an idiot and didn’t see the value,of how loving Clarke Griffin could change your life for the better.” Bellamy takes Clarke’s face in his hands and Clarke finally looks at him. “Loving you has changed me for the better, and i know it was because you thought it was because of Echo but no, it was because my favourite person told me i had to use my head sometimes. Speaking of her, we broke up last week.” Clarke didn’t know what to say she was frozen. Just as Bellamy was about to lean down and kiss her the door opened. “The door had a barricade over it. That's why y'all couldn't get out.” Murphy said. Oh god. If he knew what he was interrupting he would have never opened that door. “Thanks Murphy.” Bellamy says to him. As they come out of the room he says “we are finishing this conversation later.” Clarke just nods her head and says “I wouldn’t have it any other way. By the way, i have a new thing to be angry at.” Bellamy just smiles and shakes his head.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this and hope you aren't mad at me for the ending.


End file.
